Blackburn v West Ham
Did you feel our pain? Yes, we were there on Monday night, high in the Bobby Moore Stand to witness first hand West Ham versus West Brom. Surely one of the worst Premier League games ever.
It was a 90 minute saga of .. well, not much happening as they demonstrated just how awful football can be when two teams with no inspiration and no strike threat get together.
Albion worked hard in midfield but could literally have been there all night and not scored while West Ham, shorn of strike star Carlton Cole were impotent up front with Freddie Sears and David Di Michele running around to no effect.
But after the darkness comes the light.
The fixture list brings West Ham a game against their perennial whipping boys - Blackburn Rovers.
Since they were thumped 7-1 by Rovers in the dark days of 2001, West Ham have played the northerners 11 times. Their record: won nine, drawn one.
A brilliant success rate by anybody's standards.
The question through is: can the Hammers do it again?
As you know, we like stats like this because, in football, history often gives the form-book a poke in the eye.
But this time we just can't see it.
Although West Ham are difficult to beat - they have kept three straight clean sheets - they simply look incapable of unlocking any defence without Cole. And the England man is missing again today after his second sending off of the season in that nasty Wigan clash.
We just cannot see where the Hammers goals will come from while Blackburn at least possess a goal threat. Okay, Roque Santa Cruz is still injured but Rovers have Benni McCarthy, Jason Roberts and Morton Gamst Pedersen, who are all capable of getting goals on their day.
Talking of Pedersen, it's depressing to read Rovers boss Sam Allardyce's comments after the winger's ridiculous dive in the game against Arsenal last week.
Apparently it was referee supremo Keith Hackett's fault. We quote Big Sam: "He (Pedersen) is one of many Premier League players who are guilty of diving, but the bottom line is simple enough. Until Keith Hackett decides that fouls should still be given for players who manage to stay on their feet, then people will always cheat." That is such a load of nonsense it should have been spoken by Garth Crooks. Please, Sam, tell us you are just having a laugh and that you don't really believe that claptrap. Of course, the ref is to blame!
We should have realised!
Anyway, we'll be a bit upset if MGP scores because he certainly should have been banned for bringing the game into disrepute.
The bottom line with this match-up is that West Ham, despite their historic superiority, look poor up front and the possible introduction of the portly Diego Tristan is unlikely to improve things.
Rovers, despite their 4-0 thumping at the hands of Arsenal, have beaten Fulham recently and look good enough - and desperate enough - just to edge victory.
Our Bet: Blackburn to win (evens, general).
Fulham v Man United
There's not much we can add to the great debate over Manchester United's amazing defeat by Liverpool last week. Who knows what Nemanja Vidic was thinking when he allowed a hopeful punt out of defence to drop over his shoulder, giving the best striker in Europe a chance to nip in and equalise? Vidic was clearly rocked by his error and he never recovered.
Still, that was last week. This week United have the chance to heal the wounds and give someone a good pasting because they are playing Fulham. Now Fulham are a decent side, well managed by Roy Hodgson, who have done well at home this season.
The trouble is, United have been kicking sand in their faces recently. The last four head-to-heads have yielded four wins for United with an aggregate of 12-0.
It should be another comfortable victory for the champions.
Our Bet: United to win by a two goal margin (16/5, Paddy Power).
Portsmouth v Everton
Match Odds: 15/8 Portsmouth, 12-5 Draw, 9-5 Everton FIRST GOALSCORER: 5/1 P Crouch (P), 13/2 L Saha (E), 15/2 T Gekas (P), T Cahill, Jo (E), No goalscorer, 8/1 D Nugent, N Kanu (P), 17/2 M Fellaini, J Baxter (E). 10/1 Bar. Bet365
LAST FIVE HEAD-TO-HEAD
Aug 08 Everton 0 Portsmouth 3
Mar 08 Everton 3 Portsmouth 1
Dec 07 Portsmouth 0 Everton 0
May 07 Everton 3 Portsmouth 0
Dec 06 Portsmouth 2 Everton 0
HOME TEAM AT HOME
Mar 3 Portsmouth 0 Chelsea 1
Feb 14 Portsmouth 2 Man City 0
Feb 7 Portsmouth 2 Liverpool 3
Jan 27 Portsmouth 0 A Villa 1
Jan 24* Portsmouth 0 Swansea 2
AWAY TEAM AWAY
Mar 4 Blackburn 0 Everton 0
Feb 22 Newcastle 0 Everton 0
Jan 31 Man Utd 1 Everton 0
Jan 25* Liverpool 1 Everton 1
Jan 19 Liverpool 1 Everton 1
*cup match
Liverpool v Aston Villa
Match Odds: 1/2 Liverpool, 11-4 Draw, 13-2 Aston Villa. Coral FIRST GOALSCORER: 7/2 F Torres (L), 9/2 S Gerrard (L), 7/1 D Kuyt, R Babel, D N'Gog (L), 10/1 G Agbonlahor, J Carew (A), 11/1 No goalscorer, 12/1 Bar. Ladbrokes
LAST FIVE HEAD-TO-HEAD
Aug 08 A Villa 0 Liverpool 0
Jan 08 Liverpool 2 A Villa 2
Aug 07 A Villa 1 Liverpool 2
Mar 07 A Villa 0 Liverpool 0
Oct 06 Liverpool 3 A Villa 1
HOME TEAM AT HOME
Mar 10* Liverpool 4 R Madrid 0
Mar 3 Liverpool 2 Sunderland 0
Feb 22 Liverpool 1 Man City 1
Feb 1 Liverpool 2 Chelsea 0
Jan 25* Liverpool 1 Everton 1
AWAY TEAM AWAY
Mar 4 Man City 2 A Villa 0
Feb 26* CSKA 2 A Villa 0
Feb 15* Everton 3 A Villa 1
Feb 7 Blackburn 0 A Villa 2
Jan 27 Portsmouth 0 A Villa 1
*cup match
Wigan v Hull
Match Odds: 8/11 Wigan, 12-5 Draw, 4-1 Hull VC Bet FIRST GOALSCORER: 9/2 Mido (W), 11/2 A Zaki (W), 13/2 H Rodallega (W), 15/2 Geovanni, C Fagan (H), 8/1 O Kapo (W), D Cousin (H), 9/1 Manucho, C Folan, (H), No goalscorer, 10/1 Bar. Boylesports
LAST FIVE HEAD-TO-HEAD
Aug 08 Hull 0 Wigan 5
Aug 07* Wigan 0 Hull 1
Aug 03* Wigan 2 Hull 0
Nov 96 Hull 1 Wigan 1
Oct 96 Wigan 1 Hull 2
HOME TEAM AT HOME
Mar 4 Wigan 0 West Ham 1
Feb 7 Wigan 0 Fulham 0
Jan 28 Wigan 1 Liverpool 1
Jan 11 Wigan 1 Tottenham 0
Dec 26 Wigan 2 Newcastle 1
AWAY TEAM AWAY
Mar 17* Arsenal 2 Hull 1
Mar 4 Fulham 0 Hull 1
Feb 14* Sheff Utd 1 Hull 1
Feb 7 Chelsea 0 Hull 0
Jan 28 West Ham 2 Hull 0
*cup match
Newcastle v Arsena;
Match Odds: 4/1 Newcastle, 13-5 Draw, 8-11 Arsenal Bet365 FIRST GOALSCORER: 11/2 R van Persie, Eduardo, A Arshavin (A), 13/2 N Bendtner (A), 7/1 M Owen (N), C Vela (A), 15/2 No goalscorer, 8/1 O Martins (N), 9/1 Bar. Blue Square
LAST FIVE HEAD-TO-HEAD
Aug 08 Arsenal 3 Newcastle 0
Jan 08 Arsenal 3 Newcastle 0
Jan 08* Arsenal 3 Newcastle 0
Dec 07 Newcastle 1 Arsenal 1
Sep 07* Arsenal 2 Newcastle 0
HOME TEAM AT HOME
Mar 4 Newcastle 1 Man Utd 2
Feb 22 Newcastle 0 Everton 0
Feb 1 Newcastle 1 Sunderland 1
Jan 14* Newcastle 0 Hull 1
Jan 10 Newcastle 2 West Ham 2
AWAY TEAM AWAY
Mar 11* Roma 1 Arsenal 0
Mar 3 West Brom 1 Arsenal 3
Feb 8 Tottenham 0 Arsenal 0
Jan 28 Everton 1 Arsenal 1
Jan 25* Cardiff 0 Arsenal 0
*cup match